I am a(n):

White, nearly 30-year-old, cisgender woman.
Unapologetic Fatty.
Self-medicated mess.
Foodie.
Hairy, new-ish [lazy]Femme.
Slut.
Misandrist.
Childfree, straight-presenting, house-spouse /slash/ Dog Mom.
Liberal.
Intersectional Feminist.
Collector of interests.
Survivor.
Game lover.
Writer.
Wanna-be nail artist.
"Young" Denture Wearer.
Abortion-supporting Witch
"Texan trying to live a better, shame-free life in one of the toughest places to do that." [via]

...and this is my personal blog.

Here are some posts I've tagged 'About Me' that may provide more insight into who I am.

Here are my "vlogs."

If you know me "in real life," READ THIS!, and know this:

"There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought. But if you love me, you have to love all the things about me." -- Frances "Baby" Houseman

For what it's worth, operators of NSFW blogs, I do -NOT- consent to having my images reblogged or saved and uploaded to your site. (Only people who suck 12 rusty metal dildos at once disregard consent!)

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Hey, Tumblr, look at this beast of a truck that Jordan rented.
I like driving it a lot more than I probably should. I’m just…so…HIGH! I tower above everyone else on the road [as it should be.]
Seeing me get in and out of it is good for a few chuckles, but so long as my Daddy is comfortable, that’s a small price I’m more than willing to pay.

Hey, Tumblr, look at this beast of a truck that Jordan rented.

I like driving it a lot more than I probably should. I’m just…so…HIGH! I tower above everyone else on the road [as it should be.]

Seeing me get in and out of it is good for a few chuckles, but so long as my Daddy is comfortable, that’s a small price I’m more than willing to pay.

Just finished watching the Grey’s Anatomy finale.

Am crying really, really hard.

blarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg

(Source: notyourgrrrl)

Peanut Butter and Graham Cracker filled Semi-Sweet Chocolate Truffles, with various toppings.

[recipe-ish here]

There are currently 69 tiny balls of peanut-buttery, graham-crackery goodness in my freezer.

Once they harden, I’m going to coat them all in semi-sweet chocolate. Some of them will be finished at this stage, but some are getting coated in either chopped hazelnuts, minced butterscotch chips, or coconut flakes.

I tweaked the ever-loving shit out of the recipe. The more I looked at it, the more I realized it really was just peanut butter frosting with graham cracker crumbs in it, dunked in melted chocolate. Seeing as these snacks are meant to be nommed on all day, not only at dessert time, this simply wouldn’t do.

So, I trusted my instincts and cut the amount of unsalted butter in half, used an entire jar of peanut butter, and only added about 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar. I am pretty sure I doubled the graham crackers, too, but the recipe wasn’t very clear (because not all graham crackers are packaged the same,) so who really knows.

What I do know is, the concoction that came out of my Kitchenaid is delicious, and the texture is magical. It’s soft but crunchy and fluffy but firm, and sweet-but-not-too-sweet, and nutty…I probably ate 5-10 balls worth of batter during the mix-and-taste-and-add more stuff-and-mix-and-taste stage.

Oh, no, now that I’ve stopped and let my mind settle, I’ve remembered last night’s Elementary finale.

I…I…words? .gifs? No. Just feels. ALL the feels.

  • 46,763 Plays

beyoncespenis:

robertvision:

Frank Ocean - Bad Romance (Lady Gaga Cover)

image

78% humidity + pushing a lawnmower around 1/4 acre = physical torture

I AM SO READY TO BE AT THE OCEAN AND SMELL THE SALTY AIR AND FEEL THE WARM BREEZE AND SPLASH IN THE SEA AND BE CENTERED AND AT PEACE AND FEEL THAT ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

creativeconflagration:

sundaymornincomindown:

kahtiihma:

agender-unicorn:

also a reminder that you can savior specific photo posts if you put the image url in your tumblr savior so if there’s a particularly triggering image going around you can copy pasta the url into tumblr savior and it will be off your dash

sweet jesus thank you

i didn’t know this so maybe someone else didn’t know it either

This changes everything!

My Mom found/fell in love with a recipe on Facebook this week. I can’t blame her, they are basically just balls of peanut butter frosting dunked in chocolate.

She asked me if I could/would make a boatload of these nomalicious treats for us to eat on the looooong drive to the beach house. Of course I said yes!

I have everything for this recipe in my kitchen, and then some. I have a lot of awesome things to add to both the filling and the outer shell. Hazelnuts, pecans, coconut flakes, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, chocolate sprinkles, cocoa powder, powdered sugar….

I am going to have almost as much fun making these as eating them!

The **OFFICIAL** ~goes with everything~ vacation manicure: White French Tips [on my natural nails] with a Silver Glitter Top Coat. (aka #2)
(I skipped the beige base because eliminating that step cut the drying time by hours, and I figure the fewer coats there are, the less I have to worry about it chipping while I’m out of town.)

The **OFFICIAL** ~goes with everything~ vacation manicure: White French Tips [on my natural nails] with a Silver Glitter Top Coat. (aka #2)

(I skipped the beige base because eliminating that step cut the drying time by hours, and I figure the fewer coats there are, the less I have to worry about it chipping while I’m out of town.)

“Sorry I feminismed all over your Facebook Wall.”

I love number two! It’s a super chic twist on a French tip!! Maybe do number two with an accent nail of number one?

I”d like to choose 1 for the win!

Since my poll produced these adorably hilarious but not at all decisive results, I had Jordan pick his favorite polish combination. Of course he picked the only glitter-less option. *disappoint face* I used the combination he selected on the basis of principal, but then I added the glitter topcoat because ALWAYS GLITTER!*

* = when there’s a 100% certainty it won’t flake off into my eye

Now that my nails are dry, and the weather’s calmed down, I’m going to get some sleep while the camera battery charges, and then post pictures of my cleanest Scotch tape manicure yet some time in the afternoon.**

** = because I know just how much you all thrive on my purportless personal blog posts

Potential ~goes with everything~ vacation manicures numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4.
White with silver glitter.
My natural nail with French tip and silver glitter.
Silver glitter gradient over my natural nail.
Nude (for me) with French tip.
Sometimes I wish I weren’t so indecisive, but then I realize, I’d never get to check the little “Let people answer this” box.
So, dear Followers, which one do you like best?

Potential ~goes with everything~ vacation manicures numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4.

  1. White with silver glitter.
  2. My natural nail with French tip and silver glitter.
  3. Silver glitter gradient over my natural nail.
  4. Nude (for me) with French tip.

Sometimes I wish I weren’t so indecisive, but then I realize, I’d never get to check the little “Let people answer this” box.

So, dear Followers, which one do you like best?