(Trigger warnings for negative body talk)
This is my boyfriend and myself, all dressed up with nowhere to go (literally!)
I’ve posted here a few times, and the notes and comments have been…varied, to say the least. I’ve been called an obese cow, told that I should kill myself, people have said they ‘hoped’ that I had a disease or an eating disorder to ‘explain’ the fact that I weigh as much as I do. People have speculated about how much I eat in a day, how much money I spend on food, how much I exercise, how much weight is pressing down on my organs. (As someone who lives well below the poverty line, even being able to have three square meals a day is a far off dream for me.)
I’ve had anon message after anon message telling me that I’m obese. As if it’s something I don’t know. Well, technically I’m morbidly obese. Ooohhh, scary!
Yeah. I’m fat. So what? No one’s telling me anything I don’t know. And if they think it’s an insult, that it’s derogatory, that they’re hurting me…well, they couldn’t be more wrong. Fat’s a simple three letter word. It’s a descriptor word. It’s an adjective. Why do people give it so much power? People say ‘Oh, that girl is so fat’. ‘I don’t want to get FAT!’. As if fat is the worst thing a person could be. Tell me, honestly—why is being fat bad? Answer: it’s not.
People think that they can judge my body or assume what I’ve been through just by looking at me. They don’t know my battles. They don’t know the way my weight crept up from the time I was 8 to the time I was 14. How it SHOT up between the ages of 15 and 21. How I struggled for years with depression coupled with a major food addiction (compulsive overeating) from puberty into adulthood. How I’ve managed to maintain my current weight for two years and for me, that is a HUGE blessing and a huge milestone; something to be celebrated!
But you know what? My battles are irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if I have an addiction, or a thyroid issue, or a slow metabolism. None of the ‘excuses’ for my weight matter. Because regardless of whether you, or me, or anyone else works out 5 times a week and eats a completely healthy diet, or whether they sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing but stuff their face with sweets and fatty foods, it does NOT mean that you have the right to comment on their body or their lifestyle. NO ONE has the right to do that to another person. You have no right to use the ‘health’ argument, or the ‘concern’ argument, or any other ‘argument’ that you think you’re entitled to. Everyone has the right to do whatever they like with their body. And if someone is happy with themselves, and isn’t suffering, that’s truly all that matters. If they want to change? Support them. If they want to stay exactly as they are? Support them. It’s nearly impossible to be mentally or emotionally happy when you have criticism coming at you from all sides, diet tips and exercise plans and ‘have you ever heard of that weight loss surgery?’ Health comes in many, many forms besides physical. And while physical health is important, it is not the end-all be-all to a person’s happiness.
I’ve got rolls. I’ve got stretch marks. I’ve got cellulite. And it DOESN’T MATTER. It doesn’t make me any less beautiful. It doesn’t make me any less human, any less deserving of respect and basic human dignity. The same goes for whether I was 80lbs or 700lbs. No one deserves to be made fun of based on the way they look. Everyone deserves respect. EVERYONE.
And beyond that, EVERYONE deserves to love themselves, and to believe that they’re beautiful. Because everyone IS beautiful. Maybe not to everyone. And you know what? That’s okay too. Everyone has different preferences, and they’re entitled to that. But nothing should EVER take away from YOU feeling that you’re beautiful.
I’m always here to talk. You can follow me at my personal blog, and I’ve also got an advice blog as well! And don’t ever, ever give up on your journey to self-love. You can trip, you can stumble, you can have a bad day, but don’t EVER give up.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!