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onemanbombsquad replied to your post: I’ve spent most of my life thinking/telling people…
I vote for a professional evaluation. Have you checked to see if there’s anything in your area where they’ll charge you according to your income? I don’t know common those are but both my psychologist and psychiatrist do that.

I haven’t ever heard of anything like that…doctors based on income…wonder what they’d say to my income of $0, lol.

All I’ve ever been told is that any mental health doctor I see is going to bankrupt me, write me a list of prescription drugs to become dependent on and likely do little to no good or worse—more harm than good. (Stigmas, of course, but they are so imbedded in me that they are genuine concerns.) The only reason I got the bipolar diagnoses I did is the counselor at my school was worried about my overabundance of irrational fear and she set me up to have me evaluated for free; of course I was in middle school at the time. I haven’t seen anyone else since and you and I both know I should. =/

I don’t even know where to start looking.

le Google!

1 note

(MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING) How Violent Sex Helped Ease My PTSD

If you can handle the hardcore triggers, it’s an exceptional read.

9 notes

∞ Jul 12th, 2011 at 11:48 am via sugaryumyum
Twitter / Facebook

There is something similar to this written in the back of the first PostSecret book.

I’ve filled it up with secrets and started writing in the second book lately.

I wonder if anyone but me will ever read them.

I just looked back at them the other day and a lot of them aren’t true anymore.

It’s neat to have a document of the change in my life.

14 notes

∞ Aug 6th, 2011 at 1:40 pm via angelsforashes
Twitter / Facebook

sometimes I think about death

apparently it’s called ideation

like

I don’t want to kill myself; it would be messy/I’ve failed too many times already/Guilt

but

if I just…died…if nature did the dirty work for me…that would be “okay”

brain aneurysm

or

pulmonary embolism

or something like that

fuck I’m morbid

but I guess that’s what depression’s done to me

548 notes

∞ Aug 7th, 2011 at 7:33 am via angelsforashes
Twitter / Facebook

How to Tumblr “famous” people live?!?!?

I have ONE popular post (it’s up to over 6k notes or some insanity) and my Dash is flooded with notifications.

There’s probably some fancy way to turn them off but but but…

…I will miss things!!!!

And that’s never okay.

Blarg.

It sucks to want to do something but not be able to do it because it would upset your OCPD.

Jordan calls it indecisiveness but really it’s more desire to keep the lake ripple-free.

My crazy is showing hard today.

2 notes

I wish/hope/pray for the ability to give less fucks every. Single. Day.

(Source: yourtheseetomysaw)

24 notes

∞ Aug 15th, 2011 at 8:16 pm via gandhiami
Twitter / Facebook

Lucky to Be: This is directed to everyone who tags PTSD

onemanbombsquad:

lesoscreux:

notreeawaits:

pearlsinmysoup:

You are worth it.

You are loveable.

You can beat this.

Because we’re worth it. We’re loveable. We can beat this.

Because I have PTSD and don’t you dare say you’re not worth it, or you’re not loveable, or that you can’t beat this. Because you’re telling me and others like me to give up.

You’re not alone anymore. We’re in this together. And if we can’t get support from those out there, then we’ll get it here.

I believe that you’re worth it. I love you. And I know we can beat this.

Never Give Up, Never Surrender.

Thanks <3

Thank you. This is great.

even though I’ve gotten to where I don’t really have any life-impacting symptoms anymore, thank you.

^ seconded.

It gets better, I promise.

12 notes

∞ Aug 16th, 2011 at 2:51 am via onemanbombsquad
Twitter / Facebook

lookingforaplacetobelong:

For anyone out there. Please reblog this, you might save a life. <3

68,280 notes

∞ Sep 29th, 2011 at 6:41 am via bobomama
Twitter / Facebook

That’s what you do with Depression, you mask the symptoms. The symptoms of Depression IS depression, it’s not a symptom of something else. It’s not like you go “oooh, I feel really sad” and then your arse falls off. The symptoms of Depression is depression. You take away the symptoms of Depression HALLOOOOO! you’re cured! But Tom [Cruise] was like “no, no, no Matt. Matt, these drugs Matt, these drugs they’re just a crutch, these drugs are just a crutch!” and I’m thinking “yes?”. THEY’RE A CRUTCH! You don’t walk up to a guy with one leg and say “hey pal, that crutch is just a crutch, THROW IT AWAY! Hop ya bastard! That crutch is masking the symptoms of your one leggedness”.

Craig Ferguson on Tom Cruise attacking Brooke Shields for using anti-depressants to fight Post-Partum Depression. (via themarriageofadeadblogsing)

Craig Ferguson is my patronus, I swear.

(via turn-on-the-neon)

I wish people understood this. Sigh.

(via beezusishere)

Oh wow, I so agree. You’d never tell someone with cancer to “snap out of it, it’s just cancer.” So why do people do that with depression?

(via youdontlooklikeafeminist)

Always reblog because YES.

(via adelaitheboi)

always reblog. you just don’t walk away and get over Depression, Anxiety or any other mental health issue. It stays. For LIFE. The crutch is so you don’t fall on your face every time you try to do anything, and you learn to get better at living with it. Maybe sometimes you don’t need the crutch, but that doesn’t mean that you’ve “gotten better”. So fuck you Tom Cruise, and anyone else who doesn’t get this.

(via nekobakaz)

Never not reblog.

(via jemimaaslana)

Made me smile to see this on my dash again. Always, always reblog.

(via kiriamaya)

13,365 notes

∞ Oct 5th, 2011 at 6:37 am via angelsforashes
Twitter / Facebook

bobomama:

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

NOTE: These are American numbers

28 notes

∞ Nov 15th, 2011 at 8:56 pm via bobomama
Twitter / Facebook

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

26 notes

∞ Dec 2nd, 2011 at 7:18 pm via mrshowardhughes
Twitter / Facebook

40 notes

∞ Feb 16th, 2012 at 5:39 am via maishaparadox
Twitter / Facebook

The aftermath of that trauma could be seen in their brain scans, whether or not the young adults had developed diagnosable disorders. Regardless of their mental health status, formerly maltreated youth showed reductions in volume of about 6% on average in two parts of the hippocampus, and 4% reductions in regions called the subiculum and presubiculum, compared with people who had not been abused.

That’s where this study begins to tie together loose ends seen in prior research. Previous data have suggested that the high levels of stress hormones associated with child maltreatment can damage the hippocampus, which may in turn affect people’s ability to cope with stress later in life. In other words, early stress makes the brain less resilient to the effects of later stress. “We suspect that [the reductions we saw are] a consequence of maltreatment and a risk factor for developing PTSD following exposure to further traumas,” the authors write.

Maia Szalavitz, “How Child Abuse Primes the Brain for Future Mental Illness”

Yep.

(via unknowablewoman)

It’s official. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the abuse.

And [surprisingly] I am okay with that.

~Sandy

(via thesurvivorsmark)

566 notes

∞ Feb 16th, 2012 at 6:00 pm via thesurvivorsmark
Twitter / Facebook

Exercise 'no help for depression', new research suggests

“The message of this study of course is not that exercise isn’t good for you, exercise is very good for you, but it’s not good for treating people with what was actually quite severe depression.

That buzz we all get from moderate intensity of exercise is certainly acknowleged but it’s not sustained and it’s not appropriate for treating people with depression.”

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Mild mental illness 'raises risk of premature death'

I would like to dedicated this to health trolls everywhere.

My weight isn’t killing me, dick, but your harassment is!

7 notes